Okay now, this is getting quite silly. D:<>

I hope she comes by soon, 'cos I'm bored.

I wonder if they still have CIT slots open at Camp Rockfish?

Probably not.

Wonder if they accept volunteers?

I should ask.

I need to get out in nature nyan. WITHOUT comments like "You won't last!" or "What do you want to do THAT for?" or "That's stupid!"

I think that one of the greatest manifestations of God is in nature. Mother Nature, y'know. She takes care of us. There are nasty things, but you can't learn anything at all without hardships in your life. If life were easy, we'd never learn anything about what's really good for us.

Mom's supposed to drop by in a little while to pick me up. :D Yayz!

I'm addicted to Brandy and Mr Whiskers. O_o It's such a stupid little cartoon, but it's so cute. X3 And, dude, Charlie Adler. I like Charlie Adler.

I got to watch part of the Brady Bunch this morning. I used to have a friend who was obsessed with the Brady Bunch (Greg in particular). XP Roffles. We would sit around her house snapping "MARCIA MARCIA MARCIA JAN JAN JAN" at one another (I was always Jan).

I had a dream that I was hanging out at an abandoned church (or maybe a castle? Some big-ass old building, anyway) with a handful of other people. We alternately taught free classes about whatever came to mind and ran from ghosts and zombies. It was like Scooby Doo crossed with The Adventures of the Yippies. O___o Weird, yo.

So I'm going to Mom's tomorrow. :D

Maybe the fresh air will do me some good. And a change of scenery is always good.

Dad's eased off of my back a bit, because he's got a new hobby lately (brewing beer in the backyard). We got him a Mr Beer Mini-Brewery thing for Christmas, because we didn't know what else to get him. Shit, the man goes ahead and buys what he wants. So we saw an ad for it in the newspaper, got that, and that was his Christmas present. But he just left it lying around until a couple of weeks ago. Now he's addicted to brewing his own beer. XP He orders all kinds of recipes and ingredients and stuff off of eBay. And yesterday, a good laugh was had by all when he received a complimentary "Beginner's Guide to Brewing" DVD. Those guys on the DVD were kinda dumb (and one looked like my uncle John).

Right now he's making an ale and an oatmeal stout. Whatever the hell that means. I dunno my beer terminology (besides "black and tan". Guinness and ale, I think).

In other news!:

I might go on a short trip this weekend. Mom lets me wander off as long as I come back EVENTUALLY, or at least have water to take with me.

That'd be pretty cool.

I've always wondered what lies to the left side of the road out of Mom's neighborhood. To the right is the gas station, Dollar General, and Hungry Jack's (as well as a river, Camp Rockfish, and a couple of houses).

I've only gone to the left one time, and that was for a short driving lesson, in which I plowed over a Keep Right sign and nearly slammed into a telephone pole. Haven't been that way since. It's been about two years nyan.

Nyaaaaaaaan, I don't feel like doing chores today. D:

I think I'll slip out tomorrow afternoon and go to Mom's.

Also:

I think I might take up "glamourbombing." i.e., going around doing weird things just to break people out of their daily routine. Particularly thinking of dancing around in a fairy outfit and sprinkling chilluns and businessmen with "fairy dust" (glitter). XP

Would be something to do, wouldn't it?

Still feeling a bit sick.

It's pretty rare that I actually get sick. I've got a good, strong immune system. It's probably a result of being sick kinda often when I was little.

I think I'll go to Mom's and rest awhile.

Myaa, I'm feeling a bit sick. For one, I think my pillow set itself on fire when I put my head down. And it's hard to swallow, too. And I can't breathe through one nostril.

@_@

Maybe I'll go hang out at Mom's for awhile. Get some fresh air and hang out at the gas station with that hobo guy that everybody knows (I think his name is James; he's nice). Mom's the better one to talk to. She thinks going off on a backpacking trip is a fab idea and supports me all the way (she even bought me the hydration backpack, a nice pair of nonleather sandals, and an Eastern USA roadmap for my birthday).

And besides, the longer I hang out at Mom's, the less time I have to spend over at Karen's office. Rawk.

Mom and Jared (my stepfather) live way out in the middle of bleedin' nowhere, about a mile away from a gas station, a Dollar General, and a very small breakfast place called Hungry Jack's (they make a really good egg, cheese, and lettuce sandwich). There are sounds of nature all over the place, the air is fresher, and it's brighter in that house.

This house is so dark. I've got blue blinds that keep out the sun, the doors are always closed, and the windows are usually shaded.

But over at Mom's, the blinds are all white, the windows and doors are open for most of the summer days, and the sun rises and sets right over our house.

If you're wondering why I ever left such a nice place, it's because I couldn't stand my stepsiblings. But now, even hanging around with children is looking great compared to hanging out at Karen's office. D: Which is saying something, considering how much I dislike the chilluns.

What's even greater: Mom lets me live the pure-veggie lifestyle. She doesn't force fish and shrimp on me. She buys me veggie burgers, ramen noodles, cous-cous (which is one of my favorite foods), and recommends vegetarian recipes for me. She has a mostly-veggie lifestyle. She has meat about three times a week; other times, she just eats veggie burgers, ramen, or veggie casserole. Which is cool.

Maybe I'll move back over there. O_o

*paces*

I'm not sure what I'm afraid of.

Who could possibly be afraid of my dad--a balding guy who's constantly drunk and smokes like a chimney? And my stepmother! Pfft.

But what keeps me from leaving? It's not that I fear what they would do to me. It's that damn biological thing--how you're always attached to your folks no matter how much you don't like them. But this biology has no power over me, I tell myself.

Perhaps it's that they could phone the police? But then, I left of my own free will and explained why, and I'm 18, and promised updates. Must they?

I don't fear what lies in wait for me on the road. Think positive and God will reply in a kind manner, after all. I'm confident in my ability to defend myself, should bad things happen, and I'm confident in my ability to survive out in the woods.

I dunno.

Maybe I'll just have to keep repeating the Labyrinth mantra ("...for my will is as strong, and my kingdom as great... you have no power over me") to myself and meditate upon the reasons that I want to leave.

Hmm.

*chin-scratch*

Jim Morrison once said something about facing fears--that it was the first step to freedom, since the fear had no power over you anymore.

Hmm.

Maybe I'll take old Jim's advice?

I have a peculiar habit of sculpting my plastic/paper cups into flowers when I'm done with them and bored.

I pick apart the rim of the cup into pretty-much-equal sections, split them again into smaller pieces, peel them down, and roll it up so there are little squiggly "petals" sprouting from the very little of the cup left. :D

It's gotten me free drinks before. Seriously. We went to Myrtle Beach last year for a .38 Special concert, and the opening act sucked (the Truck Stop Preachers o_O), so I started fiddling around with my cup and eventually turned it into an ice-centered flower. The bar-guy wanted to see me do it again, so he hooked me up with a free ginger ale. And another when the other bar-guy wanted to see me do it. XDDDDD

Awesome.

A useless skill, but it entertains people. XP

I think I'll work up my nerve tonight, pray for sun in the morning, and go tomorrow afternoon.

In other news, I think I'll go to Eckerd. Maybe Keith will await me there. *snickers* I need my ginger ale and Fifth Avenue. *nod*

Still working on finding good food... so far, I've only got crackers, peanut butter, Ritz Chips, and pudding. I need to find some apples or carrots or something. Have to keep healthy, after all, nyan!

Have been revising my letter most of the day.

Am listening to the CD player so loud it's shaking the walls and windows. >:3 Ufufufufufu, Ozzy. ♥ And Dio!

We've got a cat named Dio. Big silver cat who comes to our backyard and hangs out on the deck late at night begging for food. We're not sure whether he actually belongs to anybody or not, but he seems to like hanging out at this house, with me in particular. I'm the only one who's allowed to pet him. :P And pick him up, too. He'll "nyaaar!" until I come out and sit with him while he eats. (It's not really a "meow." It's this throaty little "nyaar!" noise instead, that's somewhere between "meow" and "growl".)

We named him Dio because we're such music nerds--Ronnie James Dio has a fantastic song called "Man on the Silver Mountain", and since we couldn't think of any good names, we just dubbed him a Heavy Metal Kitty. X3

Dio's about the only thing I can stand around here these days. He hasn't been around in about two weeks, though. D: COME BACK, DIO~ LEIKO NEEDS COMPANY~

I had a dream that I met Keith Moon over at Eckerd and tried to get him to autograph my shirt. Instead, he wrote, like, an entire freakin' paragraph of his random thoughts on my bare arm. XP

And I remember there was a plane that kept flying around. It reminded me of Van Halen's Panama video. X3 Great video, that. Great song. I like Van Halen. They do good old rock n' roll. None of this whiny shit that you hear so often on the radio these days. Their songs glorify life and LIVING IT. There are some songs about heartbreak, but other than that, their songs are mainly upbeat. :3

Anyway, I'm working on packin' up. Still have to dig up more good food, though.

It's very sunny and not burningly hot today. :D Ufufufufufufu.

Karen says I'm going to work with her next week.

Ha ha! I don't frickin' think so! :D

If there IS a Hell (and I don't honestly think there is), it's the freaking Moore County dentist's office. People constantly chattering and gossipping and coming at you with dental drills. And shrieking children and having to do a million things at once and filing and I CAN'T FREAKIN' TAKE IT.

I don't care if I have to start out in the pouring rain now. I'll do anything to avoid going to that office. I'll handcuff myself to a moving bus, I'll hike miles and miles in the rain, I'll watch the Disney Channel Original Series, I'll operate on zero hours of sleep, I'll ride in a hay truck with hicks, before I go back to that office.

If there's one thing I absolutely can NOT stand, it's gossip. For one--mind your own business! For two--I don't really CARE what's going on with Suzie Whatshername from the office next door. I love her, and I wish her the best in whatever she does, but her personal life is really none of my business at all. It is none of my business who she's fucking, what she said, or what she's doing. As long as it doesn't harm another creature on God's Earth, then what business is it of mine?

And that's what Karen and her friends do. They sit in the front office and gossip. NON-STOP.

Moreover, I don't like being trapped indoors and being forced to work. I tend to get very rude and angry. I NEED the freedom of being able to go outside and roam where I will. I NEED the freedom to sit and ponder life, the universe, and everything, rather than sitting and doing tedious filework and listening to gossip.

Look, Lynn's daughter is interested in gossip and money. Get HER to do her work. You say she needs reforming anyway. Do it, then.

Suppose I better get on sewing that strap to my bag and putting them together tonight. >:( Because I'm freakin' outta here tomorrow.~

It was a good movie. :D Abbie was a bit scary sometimes, but I still woulda liked to meet him. *miffed* Why is everybody COOL these days either dead or really old and/or too expensive to see live?

This only reinforces my idea that history repeats itself. The government does, anyway. So far, nobody seems to be in a great rush to end the war or really, y'know, stand up for their rights. We need another Abbie, another Stew, another Jerry (as long as this one doesn't go corporate on us!), another Anita, another John.

But like I put it in one of my poems "America is fucked; young America's got nothing to offer, body, mind, or soul."

*bounces*

Steal This Movie on at 9! *squee!*

Leiko has a mad crush on Abbie Hoffman. :3

Even so, she thought it bloody hilarious when she heard The Abbie Hoffman Incident from Woodstock. X3 Hehehehehe~ Go Pete!

*giggles*

Also, I've gotten into the habit of scribbling down random thoughts on paper lately. Random ones about God, love, and Leiko's Too-High Standards. XP 'S quite fun.

Kind of a pity I won't ever share those Deepest Thoughts with anybody--for fear of being mocked, I suppose--because I think some people would like 'em. I dunno. Maybe I'll make an extra blog or something and type 'em up there nyan~?

Today's Songs: Jefferson Airplane's "Have You Seen the Saucers?" and The Who's "Sparks."

I have no idea why I like "Have You Seen the Saucers?" so much. It's a very strangely-worded caution for the world. Against government secrecy/conspiracy, against nuclear war, a plea to save the Earth while we can, that kind of thing. At least, that's how I view it. Plus, there's just fantastic music behind it. Grace and Marty and Paul can sing. :D

"Sparks" is just a great song. It gets your blood running and it charges you up nyan! Also, the scene that accompanies it in the movie is nifty, too. Because you get to see Roger's bum in tight white pants.

*hums*

I wonder what's for dinner?

I'm hungry.

Bah! It was very sunny and warm when I woke up. So I got all enthused about being able to leave on a gorgeous uncloudy day. I made myself some breakfast lunch and took a shower... and now it's raining. ARGH. D: No fair~

I hope it's sunnier tomorrow. For longer, y'know?

I had another dream about Mr Muttonchops Mick last night. We hitchhiked some more (or tried), didn't get a ride, and crashed at Camp Rockfish, after begging for money from Dad and Mom. No dice, though, so Mick said we should just set up a squat in one of the unused camping units. XP Rawk~ Cheap n' easy~

After we got bored with Camp Rockfish, we decided to move on, and a very nice lady picked us up and took us to the mountains. :D She let us stay in an unoccupied room that had its own bathroom, a ton of blankets, and a view over the mountains. GORGEOUS~!

I dunno what happened afterward, because that's when the dogs woke me up barking... at nothing. D: Ah well.

I hope people like Micky and the lady in the mountains really exist and I hope I meet them on my trip. :3

Found a new reply to my Digihitch thread, and I'm gonna have to choke a bitch, I swear.

"OMG GO OR STOP POSTING OMGOMG!!!!!1!!!11111!DILDO"

Well, gee, I've only been here for 18 years, under my parents' supervision, and I've grown into quite the meek little neurotic. I'm trying to change, and this is the first step. However, the moment I turned 18, I was not suddenly blessed with a change into the person I'd like to be, and I'm still having troubles in standing up to them. It kind of HAPPENS when you grow up frightened of hurting or worrying anybody. It kind of HAPPENS when you've been raised as a people-pleaser.

I desperately am seeking to set my soul free, and this is but one of the first steps on that journey toward freedom.

Not all of us are so free from birth like you, Mr Skunk, whoever you are. Some of us are going on our journeys to FIX THAT PROBLEM.

And, you know, I KIND OF LIKE TO BE PREPARED BEFORE I UNDERTAKE DANGEROUS THINGS. I like to know what kind of food will keep me healthy when I have very little of it, I like to know what kind of shelter I should seek when I have no money, and I really like to be informed of those nice little tips that Mr Lightfoot and Mr Aaron have given me for safety and health on the road. That's why I post so much! I like learning, dammit, and one never learns unless they ask questions!

This, too, is a learning experience.

Leiko's Peculiar Tastes:

-Mustard and cheese sandwiches are my favorite food of all. Always has been. One time, in Sunday school when I was really little and we bothered going to church, we had to draw a picture of something we were thankful for. I drew a little golfball with legs (a "person") with a mustard and cheese sandwich, instead of, y'know, my family or anything.

-I like my pasta only partially cooked, so it's still a bit crunchy.

-I don't like tomato sauces on my pasta. I like having Greek vinaigrette dressing on it.

-I love green apple slices dipped in honey-BBQ sauce.

-I never toast my Poptarts.

-Sometimes I'll take a bagel, squirt Taco Bell Mild sauce on it, and call it a sandwich, then have it for my entire lunch.

-I rarely eat the croutons in my salads.

-I'm a bread addict. o_O Seriously. Sometimes my afternoon snack is just a slice of wheat bread with nothing on it. I LOVE plain old bread. Except rye bread, because the seeds get stuck between my teeth.

COMMERCIALS THAT MUST DIE

1) Jetta: You know, those ones where someone suggests they do something fun, like taking a hike or going dancing. Then the guy gets all offended. The questioner is all, "WTF is going on?" Someone comes up and explains "NOT ALL JETTA OWNERS LIKE TO GO DANCING!" or whatever they were asked to do. Then some guy in a suit jacket and lederhosen comes on with "Stereotyping is stupid!" Honestly, was somebody on CRACK when they came up with this commercial!?

2) Carlos Mencia: Personally, I don't think he's funny. His entire repertoire is RACIST JOKE RACIST JOKE RACIST JOKE RACIST JOKE RACIST JOKE STEREOTYPE STEREOTYPE STEREOTYPE SEXIST JOKE HA HA HA. But what's even worse is that his commercials are on every time Comedy Central takes a break from something. Stop it already!

3) Cars: Both of 'em. The movie AND the actual objects themselves. Car commercials are generally whacked-out anyway, and while the Cars commercials were cute at first, they're way overplayed now.

4) Disney 365/411: Honestly, folks, I just wanna watch The Buzz on Maggie. You don't have to interrupt every five or ten minutes telling us shit about Hannah Montana. She's "singing" at Disneyworld. We get it; the elementary-school crowd that wants to go has it written down; move on already!

5) Mobizzo: Another goddamn mobile phone thing. The fact that telephones are meant primarily for speaking to other people seems to be lost nowadays, under all the MP3-player-features, graphics, ringtones, and all that. Mobizzo annoys me in particular because it has Napoleon Dynamite voicetones, and I hates me some Napoleon Dynamite.

That's it for today, folks. I'll surely come up with more soon.

Previous installations: http://leikomgwtfbbq.livejournal.com/331698.html#cutid1

A commercial I wish they'd bring back:That Church of Christ (or something like that) commercial where it showed a congregation sitting in a church, and whenever somebody did something "wrong", they would be ejected from the seat. The commercial ended with "God doesn't reject people. Neither do we."I haven't seen it in awhile. I love that one. XD

Agh, most of the acts at this year's Woodstock are gonna bring all the SUCK AND LOSE to the yard. Ashlee Simpson. ASHLEE FREAKING SIMPSON.

And the Goo Goo Dolls. (They couldn't even convince Green Day or U2 to come?)

Then, classical music! Don't get me wrong, I like classical music, but really? Woodstock is not the place for the classical music crowd. Woodstock is the place for the kind of people who dance over revel fires, throw mud at one another, and chant along with the music.

On the bright side, Phil Lesh, Trey Anastasio, and Mike Gordon will be there.

And Brad Paisley. Brad Paisley is a decent country singer.

But really! Ashlee Simpson, the Goo Goo Dolls, and Tchaikovsky!

Leiko is miffed. D: Why don't they bring GOOD, or at least semi-decent, acts to these kinds of festivals anymore nyan? I understand that a lot of them are dead, but Jesus, couldn't you convince U2 and Green Day to come instead of ASHLEE SIMPSON? And I really freaking dislike U2, but I'd honestly prefer them to Ashlee Simpson.

Somebody in the spirit of the original would be all right. U2 is pretty humanitarian; altruism was one of the highlights of the Woodstock Nation (according to the Coda part of the movie). Right on. Green Day seems to be pretty anti-war these days, and that's a big part of the Woodstock Nation, too.*sulks* And I was gonna go, too, to see if they had any good bands... but no. Except for Phil, Trey, and Mike.

I don't remember much about my dreams from last night, but I do remember that Mr Muttonchops Mick dragged me to a Wal-mart so we could mess with the stuff. We knocked over can pyramids, put the Barbie dolls in compromising positions with the stuffed animals, and swiped yogurt and walked around the store eating it. XP Practicing our Yippie-fu, I guess.~

Karen's home today and it's storming. omgwtfbbq. Doesn't she have, y'know, WORK to attend to?

*grumbles*

I will never, for the life of me, understand why I--why ANYBODY--thinks Family Guy is so funny.

It's a form of "humor" I dislike most--a random set of pop culture references played out to thirty minutes, with some vague semblance of plot popping up here and there. There's usually some plot that revolves around Peter drinking or Stewie trying to kill Lois, and they'll tell their jokes through "LIKE THAT TIME I..." or "IT'S LIKE..." Instead of the characters being funny themselves, or the situations they're in presently being funny, they merely make random pop culture references that are supposed to be funny.

Perhaps it's because I was raised on stuff like Monty Python. I think someone once called it absurdism. It made a handful of pop culture references, but it mainly kept in its own canon. The Pythons had to THINK to bring us this wonderful comedy from out of their own heads. And they had to make it flow! It flows seamlessly from sketch to sketch and it's all-around funny, instead of "situation + reference = punchline/joke", as Family Guy is.

I like Futurama, too; it makes a ton of references to scifi stuff, but it's far more subtle than Family Guy is. The characters are funny, and the situations they get into are pretty funny. (My personal favorite is the Roswell episode, quickly followed by the Bender-becomes-a-folk-singer episode, because of my massive music geektitude.)

I dunno. Maybe there's subliminal messages--forget Priest and Sabbath and Maiden and Zeppelin, there's subliminal messages telling you to LAUGH in Family Guy!

http://youtube.com/watch?v=mnnekRSc0W0&search=Keith%20Moon

*squeals; glass shatters elsewhere*

MYAAAAA! Too awesome! *dances around in circles squealing*

Also: Holy freakin' cats, I wish I could dance half as well as Pete does. I would settle for dancing a QUARTER as well as Pete does. A LITTLE like Pete does.

*giggling*

It's Mr Muttonchops! My newest dream-pal. He needs a shave. Seriously. XP

He's skinny as a rail and a lot dirtier than my poor drawing skills can show. Unshaven, caked in dirt and sweat (it happens when one hitchhikes somewhere). But he was still cool.

I think I'll call him Mick. I dunno why. He just seems like a Mick to me.

Still haven't figured out The Riddle of the Backpacks... but am getting closer.

I finally beat a game I've been trying to beat for quite awhile now. Faerie Caves II on Neopets. :D I'm such a dork nyan. *does a dance*

I need a haircut. It's getting kind of uneven. But, mostly, there's a part by my ears where the hair grows down and back into my ears. Rather bothersome nyan.

I watched a video with one of Keith Moon's last interviews. I kinda teared up when he and Pete were talkin' about what they would be doing when they were 50. I was born ten years after Keith died, but I still love all those people who came and went before me. Role models in craziness, peace, and creativity. I wish Keith were still around. John Lennon, too. It would have been interesting to see what would have changed in the music scene. Maybe "Boys Whining With Soft Cookie-Cutter Instrumental Backing" wouldn't be the dominant trend, followed by "Rapper Who Sounds the Same as Every Other Rapper" and "Very Skanky-Looking Chicks Who Sound Exactly the Same as Every Other Skanky-Looking White-girl Singer Writhing Around on a Bed."

I think it'd be good for the music industry if someone who had a deep voice and cheerful lyrics came on the scene. Or at least something other than "My girlfriend left me; I angst" or "Homies bitches rides bling bling (and one day, I swear I will track down whoever invented that phrase, and I will beat them with a sack of sweet Valencia oranges)" or "AM I NOT THE MORE WHORISHLY BEAUTIFUL THING EVER?"

I mostly blame Kurt Cobain for this trend of angsty white-boy music. Props to him: He played a decent guitar, even after frying his hand pretty bad in an accident. Actually, he was a good guitarist. But his lyrics? FULL OF SUCK AND LOSE, as far as I've heard. Sometimes I think I'm the only one who doesn't like Nirvana or any other grunge at all. It's part "I don't like their lazy, apathetic lyrics" and part "Their fans bother the hell out of me". I once had a girl (who was extremely annoying in other respects as well) tell me that Nirvana predated and was better than the Beatles. Uh-uh. Wrong. Thanks for playing. I suppose there are better bands than the Beatles (though I would defend those boys to the death), but Nirvana? Isn't one of 'em. And what is this "Nirvana came before them and they copied!" shit?! 1960 CAME BEFORE 1990. Thank you for playing. Look, I'm horrible at math, but even I know that. All right?

I'm not saying all music should be sunshine and rainbows, but really, it could focus on something other than romance or sex once in awhile. Which is why I like the Who so much. They didn't have a whole lot of lovey-dovey songs in their repertoire. (The ones I can remember include I Can't Explain, Love Ain't For Keeping, Pictures of Lily, and perhaps a few others.) But the point is, Pete and John wrote about things beyond that. They were more creative than to focus on ONE thing and rewrite it a million different times. John wrote about spiders, boogiemen (I love that song), getting piss-drunk and getting in trouble with his wife, Heaven and Hell, things like that. And Pete writes about everything and he does a great job of making songs about whatever wanders into his head. There's so much variety, and every song sounds so radically different from the other one on the album.

I wish that I had some kind of musical talent beyond mediocre harmonica-playing. If I had any kind of talent, I would bring some change pretty goddamn quick!

http://www.hippieshop.com/cgi-bin/gold/item/7041

This is the kind of bag I've made (I still need to sew the straps on, though, and put stuff in it, but other than that, I'm set).

I need to figure out how to attach my hydration backpack, which holds the most important thing of all (WATER!) Without water, I'm dead--you know, summertime, Southeastern USA, sunny days. No bueno. I suppose, with some kind of effort, I COULD just stash the hydration backpack itself into the duffel bag and trail the tube out.

Hmm, sudden thought: Or I could just sew the drawstring bag to the hydration bag's straps and create a combination backpack. I'll have to experiment with that tonight.

I need a slightly larger bag than JUST the hydration one, though; while I suppose I could do with just one change of clothes, a reduced amount of food, and no books, I would feel a lot better if I had two changes of clothes, as much food as I could stuff into it, and at least a Bible (bait for the good kind of ride/company). I'd really like to take a notebook, too, to chronicle the ride for y'all when I get to a computer. :3

Dunno though.

Maybe I just need to fold my clothes up smaller and bring my "purse" (mini-messenger-bag, more like) to carry the overflow?

Hmm.

*goes back to pondering*

I like eating Broke Food.

Macaroni and cheese, ramen noodles, Poptarts, peanut butter sandwiches, mustard and cheese sandwiches (it's good, shut up!)

Karen doesn't like that I love Broke Food and would much rather eat macaroni or mustard and cheese than a fancy-ass crawfish etoufee (I have no idea how that's spelled) or jambalaya. Karen's food is too greasy. Too many things thrown in at the same time. It tastes very... cluttered. If you understand what I'm saying. And besides, her food takes too long to cook. I'm a very impatient girl, if you hadn't noticed. XP

My mom, on the other hand, puts only what she thinks will go good together into her food, and it takes about 30 minutes--max--to cook in the oven. I love eating at Mom's. And she doesn't tend to snap at me when I go rummaging for ramen or something. She'll sometimes come in and say, "Dinner'll be in about an hour, are you sure you want to eat that?" but she doesn't snap "YOU'RE NOT HAVING THAT" like Karen tends to. *eyeroll*

I fail to see why my dietary choices are any of Karen's business. I could understand if I was, like, eating raw steak like our neighbor does, or eating any nasty kind of food that would make me sick... but I always make sure my food is cooked properly, and I'm a vegetarian. I'm not an annoying vegetarian, mind you; I keep my dietary choice my business, and only bring it up when offered meat. I politely decline and MOVE ON. I have never bothered anybody or pestered them to take up vegetarianism, but Karen makes it seem like I'm one of those militant PETA nutters sometimes.

I'm vegetarian for a few different reasons.

One, for the widdle animals. I once saw a video in agriculture class about the production of cows for beef and was fully disgusted by A) how the animal was treated and B) how disgusting that process was.

Two, meat bothers my stomach. It always has. When I was a kid, I would have constant stomachaches and would be sick every couple of weeks. Something, I notice, hasn't happened to me in the past four or five years.

Three, meat's too expensive and it takes too long to cook. Remember impatience? Yeah.

But I'm not at all militant about converting others. If you wanna eat meat, that's fine with me. It's your choice. Shit, I have a friend who's almost a carnivore back in St Pauls. He's probably the only real-live non-Internet-contact person I'm actually close to. Eat meat; go ahead. I won't stop you. Unless I see that it hasn't been cooked all the way through, because that's a breeding ground for tapeworm and other nastiness. Then I'll bug you about cooking it all the way through.

But I will not pester anybody to become a vegetarian. 'S not my business whether anyone is, and it's not their business what I am.

THANK YOU COME AGAIN.

Bah, Hannah and the Ice Caves on Neopets still ain't working. D: It's my pixellated crack. NEEEEEEEEEEEEED.

I think I've figured out how to get past the level I'm stuck on, too, which makes it all the more sucktacular. Argh!

Until then, I'm occupying myself with playing Faerie Bubbles, Turmac Roll, and Ice Cream Machine. Which are cool, but I wanna play Hannah and the Ice Caves now. >:( Work dammit!

I had a dream about--well, what else do I dream about these days?--and managed to pick up a partner along the way. It was the Marty Balin-muttonchopped-demon-Quaker-folk-rocker from the night previous! He was imitating Arlo Guthrie and Bob Dylan and hitchhiking across America, it turned out, and he said he was sorry for trying to slice my wings off, but they seem to have disappeared now, so what the hell was the matter anyway. We buddied up and got a ride from a very sane-looking gentleman in a suit and tie who talked about inoffensive topics like the weather... and then he decided he had to drive on this not-yet-complete bridge. The Quaker-demon-folk-rocker-guy screamed like a little girl and we clinged to one another praying for safe landings when we went careening over a very high curve.

Miraculously, we landed safely and ran up the road a bit to catch a safer ride. Some Mexican lady driving an Estes truck came up and gave us a ride. She was nice. But she dropped us off at a summer camp and my friend Leah (from a few years past, accompanied by her pal Joy) met us in the dining hall. :D We signed up as counselors for awhile. Mr Muttonchops (I really should find a name for him) decided to teach music and sleep in a treehouse and invited me to do the same (OMG EW BOYCOOTIES), but I have trouble avoiding walls and debris and shit when I'm at ground-level; I'd never be able to make it out alive to take a piss in the middle of the night if I were sleeping in a treehouse.

So I slept in this odd barrel-on-its-side cabin. o_O There's a house like that over near Grandma Allie's apartment, and it's a source of endless amusement for us. Anyway, Mr Muttonchops and I got bored with the summer camp after awhile, quit, and moved on. A lady who quite resembled my real mum picked us up and drove us to the beach, stopping at a gas station. We had a rather odd argument over a ham sandwich (me = vegetarian, she = wanted me to eat a ham sandwich instead of a veggie burger). O___o

I woke up at that point--unfortunately--so I dunno what Mr Muttonchops and I did after that. Perhaps it'll carry on tonight? I like Mr Muttonchops. XP Space case~! I hope that someday, I have a cool hitching partner like him. Right little weirdo, but a friendly one. :3

SCENE FROM TODAY:

*Toddles into the bathroom for a shower*
"Hmm. There's a note on the soapdish."

...

"I can't read this."

...

"Hmm... broom? No, there's a dash between 'b' and 'room.' What the hell?"

...

"Well, okay. Sweep behind the bathroom door. But what's this down at the bottom?"

*squint*

"Well, it looks kinda like 'what have you been using for boy.' I dunno. My fingers, I guess."




You see, folks, this is why you need LEGIBLE FREAKING HANDWRITING.

http://www.hottopic.com/store/product.asp?LS=0&ITEM=625712&RN=202

Nyaa~ *makes grabby hands* Too cute! And I feel a little like her sometimes. It could be why I adopt cockroaches, refuse to spray ants, and keep a hundred or more stuffed animals all around. Since I don't have any friends over here (it's all old people, elementary school kids, and possibly-PTSD'd soldiers all around), I make friends with whatever object I happen upon that catches my eye. Believe me, I actively go out and search for people around my age to make friends with, but I haven't found any who appreciate eccentricity, good old music, semi-intellectual debates, and nomadic lifestyles. The people around here seem to be wrapped up in luxuries and money and gossip and all that kind of thing, which I'm not interested in at all.

I collect odd things myself. Living Dead Dolls (Inferno, Sleepytime Sadie, Isaac, Millie, and Jeepers are my babies), Little Apple Dolls (Sine, who keeps an eye on my room from a high perch atop the record player), and things I shape out of fabric and stuffing (a little creepy-looking creature with red eyes, which I named M). Until I get out of here and/or find human friends, they're all I've got.

And even if they don't move, I feel like they've definitely got their own spirits, and they seem to communicate nonverbally and nonphysically. Inferno especially. Sometimes her gaze seems to follow me across the room when I move from the computer to the bed.

For all the morbid or demonic or strange things I collect, I sound rather goffic. But I'm not. XD I'm just weird, I guess, and I like it that way.

I'm hungry.

I think I'll go microwave one of those basil pesto pizza things Karen bought. After prying the tomato bits off with a fork. I hate tomatoes.

I think I win the medal for world's pickiest vegetarian. I love most veggies... except mushrooms (I don't eat fungus, kthx), tomatoes (too larval for me, but I love ketchup), some peppers (not all of them), olives (I just don't like them), cucumbers/pickles (pickles are straight-up disgusting)...

But I'll eat just about any other veggie available. :D

I think a sea sprite stole my mind away the last time I was at the beach. The beach has been all that's on my mind lately; I want to be near the sea. There's nothing else I want to see there (though going to the Palmetto Grill is always awesome--especially their spinach and artichoke dip with the fried bowtie pasta... Damn, I'm hungry now.) All I wanna see is the sea. I've never spent as much time around it as I would like. Whenever we go to the beach, we go and hang out by the House of Blues or Broadway at the Beach or one bar or another. I'm tired of staying inside on gorgeous beach days while they do nothing but drink!

I would just like to sit on the sand and stare at the ocean and listen to it. There are few natural sounds that make me happier than hearing seagulls shrieking and the waves going up against the sand. The other natural sounds, in case you're wondering, are the mountain wind and that eerie little breeze that sometimes goes through a graveyard when you're walking around.

Even when we went to the beach on my birthday, we didn't do what I would have liked. I wanted to go and sit on the beach, or visit the aquarium or Ripley's Believe it or Not. Instead, we ended up making a couple rounds at Barefoot Landing and Broadway at the Beach and hanging around some bars and restaurants. Look, I suppose it's understandable that Karen and Dad wanna do it--they're nearing 50 years old and they've never been very fit people, but MUST they drag me along? I just turned into an adult and they insist on dragging me everywhere with them, telling me to "grow up!" Well, if I'm never away from my parents' overprotective gaze, how am I to ever grow up? How am I to form my perspective on the world? It's rather askance right now, thanks to swings of "OMG RIDING ON TOP OF THE WORLD YAY!" and "Am I going insane?" for the past couple of weeks.

I really need to be in charge of my own life for awhile. Explore the world. Form my own perspective.

Now the last wall of the castle--telling them that I've gone to do so!

I had a dream that I was an angel, and some guy who looked like Marty Balin kept chasing me around trying to slice off my wings with a machete under the orders of SATAN. But he abandoned it and was all, "Can't we all just get along?" He became a folk-rock Quaker... XD

I didn't know demons had mighty Marty Balin muttonchops. XP

I think that if I died, I would rather be an Oread (a nymph of a mountain or cave) or a hitchhiking ghost than an angel. One, I don't wanna fly. It's not so much that I'm afraid of heights--it's just that, if God had meant human beings to fly, She woulda given us wings and hollow bones while giving us nifty adaptations. Even after death, I think I'd be terrified of flying.

But I'd love to hang out on mountains dancing with nature-spirits and stuff. :D Like an Oread of old. Or be a helpful hitchhiking ghost. Either one.

I once had a dream where, when we died, we were herded to a hallway. This hallway had millions of doors where we got to pick the afterlife we most believed in. Well, I wasn't sure WHAT I believed about death, so God gave me a halo and a nifty robe and told me to be a tour guide for one particular wing of the afterlife. XP

I think I'll adopt that little cockroach who keeps crawling around my room. I'm pretty sure it's just the same one every time; he's missing a left front leg. I would feel bad if I threw him outside or accidentally squished him. :( So I'll just keep him as a pet until he decides to bugger off on his own.

Think I'll name him Pete. I dunno why. "P" names and "Q" names just go with cockroaches, I think. (No, wait: What about Mimi? Roffles.)

I'm going to end up in the loonybin someday, I swear. I hope it's not Ridgemoor... XDDDDDD

[/in-joke-between-Leiko-and-her-even-more-eccentric-friend-Andy]

Nearly finished with my bag! I just have to sew the strap on. (Hahahah... strap-on... XP) And maybe I'll dig up some patches from Dad's old keychain collection (yeah, he kept old patches in there, too) and iron those on. The bag is my favorite shade of green, but it needs a bit more color!

It looks very nice so far. Good color, strong, thick fabric, pretty drawstring (well, it's a long piece of silvery ribbon), and it's quite big, too. I just have to figure out how to wear that AND my hydration-bag and not look like a total dork wearing two bags at once. XP

EDIT: I just dug through Dad's keychain collection (like I do every year). I think he might have a magic Wayback portal or something, because he never GETS any new keychains, but there's always something "new" in there. This time, I found a Rolling Stones pin, a Heart pin, a 1979 ticket to a Heart show (Dad's a huge Heart fan), a 1990 ticket to a Savatage show, a 1965 Columbus Junior Jets Baseball pin, a "Protected by the Egyptian Army" keychain (I have no idea what it MEANS, but I thought it was cool), one for Q-FM 96 (which was apparently Ohio's Best Rock at one time or another), a miniature working tape measure (which might come in handy!), and two lucky rabbit's feet (one orange and tiny and losing hair, one red and busy and still possessing claws, which always creeped me out).

I also found Dad's old Rolling Stones patch, but it doesn't have any iron-on sticky stuff left on it. *sniff* I really wanna find some good patches to put on that new bag.

That DVD player we got last week is my new toy. Namely, my game is "putting on The Who and seeing how far up I can turn the volume until the glass cabinets shatter or at least shake."

Hey, how many glass manatee figurines do we need, anyway?

I actually made some stuff in my room fall down with a round of The Who at Woodstock. My room is all the way across the house from where the DVD player is. :DDDDDD

Yeah. Bigtime bored. I pray it doesn't rain from Monday until I get to the beach. D: 'Cos I need to get outta here, leiksrsly.

My backpack is almost finished. Just gotta pull a drawstring through and sew on the straps. :3 I feel so productive-nyan!

But, like yesterday, my eyes started to cross from staring at my work so long as I did it, so I'm taking a break.

I've got a very short attention span these days, and the things that I DO pay huge amounts of attention to eventually make my eyes cross.

Now I just gotta find a way to carry both duffel-bag and hydration-backpack and not look dumb. Maybe I'll attach the duffel to the bottom of the hydration one with those handy-dandy straps that I never used before? That sounds good. I'll try it once the duffel's finished!

I had an odd dream last night. I finally got on getting on my trip, and there was this yellow car following me EVERYWHERE. I guess I ended up in Philadelphia or something (I remember it being mentioned by the nice Hispanic couple who took me in and let me crash at their house). I didn't want the nice Hispanic couple to be shot down by the very suspicious people-in-the-yellow-car, so I went to this tall federal building and hung out on the roof for awhile... but then the people appeared there as well. Since I'm almost always able to fly in my dreams, I leaped over the edge, hoping to hit the next building (several hundred yards away) for safety. But... I couldn't fly. O_o I did this weird gymnastic stunt where I swung back midair to the edge of the building and crawled down the side, toward an open window.

The nice Hispanic couple (I keep wanting to call them Victor and Maria for some reason) decided that they would help me out even further, and decided to smuggle me outin the trunk of their car. :D They got me to a beach somewhere (I'm pretty sure it wasn't Myrtle) and we said our goodbyes. And suddenly I was able to fly again. o_O Wtf.

Also: I woke up today, not to the sound of Karen pounding on my door, but to Dad blasting Metallica on the office computer. :D Better!

Post #100! :D

STILL listening to A Quick One. <3>

After Unsolved Mysteries is over, I'mma go take a nap. D:

I'm tired today for some reason nyan. *flops over*

I just heard the Who's "A Quick One While He's Away."

*earsplitting squeal of joy*

I love that part where Ivor introduces himself. *giggles like a four-year-old*

I'm taking a break from sewing at the moment. My eyes started to cross after staring at the project so long. XP But I'm about halfway done with it!

I've been working on making a tube-backpack. Duffel bag, whatever you wanna call it. I decided that I couldn't sew together the old school backpack and my hydration bag, so I'd just create a new bag, use that to carry some of the stuff, and keep my hydration bag separate.

Finally, I got a use out of that Kingdom Hearts costume I made! Dad and Karen went backsies on their promise to take me to an anime convention, so I never got to wear that adorable Green Requiem costume. However, I always recycle my clothing somehow, and having a new, lightweight bag is just as great (better, in fact!)

I love sewing. It's about the only domestic skill I've got. Mostly, I sew costume-type things--animal-ear headbands, dresses, socks, slippers, paw-gloves, hats.

In other news: I think there might be a ghost in my room or something. o_O My videogames and hitchhiking phrasebook have fallen over. It was only two discs tall and they ended up all the way across my desk somehow. wtf.

Anyways, must get back to sewing. :D I feel so productive-nyan!

Heheheheh, my friend Screwy and I are planning our own festival (more like, we're daydreaming about it) and thinking about who could possibly come and play.

So far, the "Very Likely Would-Comes" are "Leiko's Brother's Band because they're desperate for exposure".

The "We Would Like Them To Comes" are the Who (they're very nice guys, but I doubt they'd pop over to the states just because two hippie-chicks in their late teens asked nicely), Barry McGuire (Screwy's suggestion), and Crosby Stills Nash and Young.

It'd be cool if we could make it happen one day.

I've heard that if you dream about something more than once, it's bound to come true. I've had dreams about having a Woodstock-style festival on the beach; it happened while I was hanging out over by Barefoot Landing. Some nice bearded guy in a tunic came and helped me out (I've been calling him Jesus, because he really resembles the guy and appears in my dreams kind of often) and the world changed when we held the festival.

Dreaming is my life. *nods* And someday soon, making those dreams come true will be my real life.

On August 12-13th, 2006, a two-day Woodstock anniversary concert is scheduled at the site. No artists have been announced yet.

HOLYSHIT.

That would be the awesomest of awesome things. Of course, they'd probably have craptacular rap acts or something, but I would like to go to the site anyway... just to dig the feeling of the original concert. Like visiting a graveyard to remember how your dead loved ones once made you feel. [/morbid] Then again, I'm a right little loony who goes and visits graveyards just to visit them. I'm not sure why. Being around all that history, I guess?

*shakes fist at sky* Why wasn't I born sooner~?!

I've been scribbling down poems. :B I won't share 'em unless I get really bored sometime, but I like the way they're turning out. Some of them are cute and sweet and silly, some of them are sarcastic and outright bitchy, some of them are just WEIRD.

I like the one about Young America. You know how the Who's My Generation is like a "back off, we're cool, you don't understand" kind of statement? Yeah. This one I've been batting around is more like "MY generation sucks. Royally. We're doomed." It's one of the bitchier ones, yes.

I read that Pat Boone made a record of a bunch of metal covers, and one of them was Enter Sandman. O_____o And Holy Diver.

I lol'd.

Then again, stranger things have happened. Like the Monkees hanging out with Jimi Hendrix. Or Elton John being in Tommy at all (no matter how many times I see it, it still cracks me the hell up to see him at that piano... pinball machine thing).

I once had a dream that Jesus helped me hitchhike to Myrtle Beach. We slept behind Risen Christ Lutheran (a real church in North Myrtle Beach, a few doors down from where we usually stay), chatted with Linus and Erik (that's what I call those two foreign guys who run Musical and Comedy Corner, but I have no idea what their real names are), and started the motherfuckin' love revolution. :D That would be cool. D'ya think it was a sign?

But until the J-man pops out of his nice little cloud cottage and visits me, I suppose I'm on my own in starting the love revolution. XP

Most of my dreams revolve around hitchhiking. They have for a few years, even before I got interested in it. Perhaps it was a sign? Let's hope that I eventually make those friends in real life! And let's hope I avoid those mutant talking lobsters who seem to follow me around in my dreams. XP

I think the problem with my tooth is that I'm drinking ice-cold water. Which is a good thing. But I'm sipping it from the front, meaning the cold comes RIGHT UP AGAINST my tooth, which is Not a Good Thing. I often have to drink out of a straw so my mouth doesn't end up in pain. *nod* It was getting better, though, and I didn't have to drink out them so much; I wonder what happened nyan?

I hope it doesn't storm for the next week like the weather forecast says it's supposed to. I'm about to go mad nyan! I need to get out of here and see the world before it's all paved over!

I really liked this dream I had last night.

Returning to the religious theme, I shacked up at a church with a bunch of other misfit types. It was kind of like the church in Alice's Restaurant. These people were all really friendly, too. :D I wish I knew people like that. And there was this superhero-y guy who dressed in black and rode around on a motorcycle. He kept following me around. ZOMG GO AWAY, I don't need saving. D: He had really gorgeous eyes, though. Sea-green~ And he never talked, but I'm sure he was nice.

Anyway, we had to save the church from being leveled by evil demon critters in search of a magic artifact. I was recruited as a guard for it and eventually freaked out, because the thing was buried underground, and I'm very claustrophobic. I had to get out. The superhero guy bailed me out by prying open the very narrow hatch opening. I toddled off to town for awhile, because there was a carnival going on, and Leiko loves her some carnivals. Then I had to phone him up because I saw UFOs in the sky. They were a bunch of little discs of light swirling around in a circle. One of them formed into a human being and fell to Earth, landing on its feet and describing why they needed that artifact. It was something like, the demons wanted to be human and have the chance to redeem themselves. I saw no problem with that, so I burrowed under the ground and got it out for them. They say "thank you", flitter away happily, and Superhero Guy is none too happy with me. But the same demons show up later as normal old humans, so HA, superhero guy.

Superhero Guy takes me back to the church and we hang out for awhile, waiting for his next call. And just to mess with him, I change all the locks around while he's out. >:3 Ufufufufufufu.

My dreams rock. I wish I had friends like that in reality~!

You know you're strange when your friends look up to you as evidence of God's highest form of love and your own parents think of you as them-except-younger.

The few friends I've got--the online ones--seem to think of me as a kind older sister type who's in on some great cosmic joke with a very bizarre punchline. Maybe I'm the punchline. They seem to think that I'm here to cheer the world. And that I am.

But my dad! He spits on any goal that involves spreading love, peace, and harmony. If it won't earn you any money, he ain't in on it. (I once told them I wanted to be a writer if I HAD to be anything; they rolled their eyes and said, "No, save that for your spare time, and pick something that'll make you money NOW.")

It's like Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde. To my nice little Intarweb friends, I'm a lovable chick with just a few little hiccups in the gears of her brain. An example of life's rich pageant. But to my parents, I'm The Golden Child, who must now live up to what her brother failed at.

I hate being the second one. I'm sick of living up to expectations and being the Child That Everyone Wants or The Sarcastic Witty Bitch. Lately, I've become more of a hermit; I stay in my room most of the day, or I go outside and read a book and then seclude myself in my room when my parents come home. I just don't like communicating with them. They don't listen to what I want out of life; they think that I want the same things out of life that they want (namely, money and everything that it can by--material happiness--which I have no interest in at all). I've tried and tried to tell them that I've got my own dreams. I want to write! I want to teach! I want to inspire! I want to do it all for free! But they'll hear none of it. They don't back me up at all. They dismiss it and continue to plot my life without me.

And that's part of why I've got to get out of here. So that I can become the real me instead of The Golden Child. I don't wanna be golden. I wanna be silver, or selenium, or rutherfordium or some lowly element like that.

I took some "Which Pink Floyd Member Are You?" tests earlier and I got Syd Barrett on every one of them. I hope this doesn't presage something about my future.

The really sad thing about these random little emo-crises that I have is that I don't have anybody to help me through. When I mention it to my intarwebz-friends, they take up my parents' side, saying It's For My Own Good that I earn as much money as I possibly can and stay in a big-arse house with twenty cars and twelve children.

I wish--just once--that someone would take my side and join me in my work!

Ahh well. I suppose that's what imaginary friends are for, nya?

"I Don't Even Know Myself" came on the Yahoo Radio and it says it's from the 1971 version of Who's Next. If it is, it wasn't included on Dad's particular record. o_O Funky~

I've been working on packing stuff into my bag. So far, I've managed to squeeze two changes of clothing in there (a T-shirt, two pairs of jeans, and a pretty nice tunic-y kind of shirt). I think I can squeeze in a peanut butter jar, crackers, fruit snacks, and the like. If not, I'll take another bag (my "purse", which is actually far too big to be a plain old purse, but not quite large enough to be a messenger bag--it's got quite a bit of storage room, at any rate).

I'm feeling so productive. :D

Now I just need to do two things: Collect up the food and take that great leap. :3 Oh, and I need to look at the weather, too. *makes a note of that* Once I've figured out those latter two, things will be off and running nyan!

I'm out of peanut butter n' chocolate ice cream. D: And here my sweet tooth flares up... though usually, when I'm having an attack of "OMG NEED SWEET" it's just because I'm very nervous. And, y'know, planning out a backpacking trip and panicking over informing my folks that I have no interest at all in following in their footsteps like they're trying to force me to... makes me nervous.

What do you think?

I dunno what I'm so nervous about. I suppose it's because I've been a people-pleaser all my life; for the past 18 years, I've been shoving myself aside to please other people. While I really and honestly do LOVE making people smile and laugh, I'm tired of being a golden child. I suppose that all of this crap that Dad and Karen level at me is because my brother "failed" in life--he went couchsurfing at 16 and hasn't come back home yet, he dropped out of college two weeks in, he lives in a van. But he's happy! I admire Josh's courage. Of course, he had friends who wanted to shelter him. I don't have any myself (though I wish with all my heart that I did!)

Mr Aaron on Digihitch says that I should get out and chase my dreams if I want to. And that some of the deepest, most positive relationships he's ever formed have been with the people he's met on the road. Mr Lightfoot says the same thing. What do you think?


I used to have this little necklace with a cross made out of olive-wood. I really loved that little cross; it smelled wonderful, it kept bugs away. But at the time, it didn't hold any special meaning to me. It's only been in the past five years that I've become curious about spirituality of all sorts. I'm not a Christian, but I do quite like Jesus. My main issue with actual Christianity comes with the fact that I view God as a woman, because that is what helps me forge a positive connection with God--when I view God as a loving mother figure, I feel closer to Her. A vengeful, angry, violent male God only drives me away. I think that if you want to connect with whatever-your-vision-of-God-is, you should connect to it out of love and curiosity, rather than fear and terror.

I think that's the problem with most super-religious folks today: they take life too seriously and they approach religion with fear and anger in their hearts rather than love and peace.

Maybe I'm just weird.

Know what would be a cool band name? Riot Act.

Or Polaris and the Space Cadets (my dad calls weird people "space cadets"--most often, the people I like the most in the world, like Yoko Ono or Pete Townshend).

Or Shaved Radioactive Weasel Parts.

...I like the first and second ones best. :D It's a pity I suck at making music, otherwise I'd have a pretty cool band.

Nyaaaaaaaaaaan~!! My tooth hurts. D:<>

It could be, perhaps, that I haven't been to the orthodontist since March, because Dad and Karen can't be arsed to take the time out of their day to drive me there. Shit, I should just get the things taken off. My teeth have been straight since about a week after they slapped them on two years ago. I think they've set. ENOUGH. And besides, I wanna eat Skittles and gum and ice cubes again. D: Rahr~

ALSO~: I'm hungry again. I had some slightly burnt spinach puffs for lunch. Perhaps that's what caused the toothache; my two front teeth (the left more so than the right) are very heat and cold sensitive. Which is why I have to keep my mouth shut in cooler weather, even if my nose is stuffed up. And it makes me sound like freakin' Igor, I breathe so heavy sometimes. O_o

*deranged laughter, foot-dragging walk*

For this being Keith Moon Fan Radio, I've heard very little Keef Moon. XP

But I've heard lots of Who I hadn't heard before. I'm in love with I'm a Farmer. *squee!!~* I want the Odds and Sods album now. :3 My dad's got four Who records stashed back in his milk-crated record collection--The Who Sings My Generation, Magic Bus, Live at Leeds, and Who's Next (which is the one that started the madness). Plus he's got a three-record set of Woodstock. If you knew my dad, you'd know how very odd this is.

He's got a lot of great records, actually. The Who, Black Sabbath, Ozzy, Deep Purple, Stevie Nicks, Joan Jett, Humble Pie, Iron Maiden, Queen, Savatage. That kinda stuff. :D

...and he's also got a few Michael Jackson records. o_O;; Which is even more startling than the fact that he's got the Woodstock set. Wonder how much those MJ records would fetch on eBay? We never listen to the damn things, and they're just collecting dust. They're in great condition (as opposed to the Who records--they're getting quite ragged :P They're very well-loved records).

I wonder what else he's got in that collection? I can't tell beyond those few records in the first crate, because someone decided to put the damn crates in the closet, where I can't reach (there's a big-ass dresser in the closet, and there's about five inches of space between that and the wall, making it very hard to reach in there). Fortunately, I could contort myself enough to rescue the Who records and the Woodstock set.

Still scuttling about trying to get ready for the Trip. :D

I'm nervous, nyan! I want to go on the Trip more than anything right now--for a hundred different reasons--but I'm nervous more about telling my parents, "Hey, fuck greed and fuck a stationary lifestyle" than I am about walking down the side of a highway alone with only an iron staff to protect me should my common sense and instinct fail me. In fact, I quite look forward to the latter; it excites me! But the former frightens me. I'm great at talking to total strangers. I've got no problem chatting them up at all. But I sound nearly brain-challenged when I'm talking about something more important than the weather to someone I have to see every day. Perhaps because I'm afraid of becoming a daily running joke; I've done it before. >_O Yargh. Human fear of embarrassment, I s'pose.

At any rate, still making preparations. :3

So who the hell needs sleep anyway nyan?

I took one of those Livejournal meme-quiz-things and it said "Jim is the one you love most." I just entered the first names that came into my head--Jim, John, Awayuki Himeno (the main character of Pretear, my favorite anime), Keith Moon, and Max Yasgur. XP wtf.

Wouldn't it be kinda creepy if I ended up marrying some dude named Jim?

Also: It said that the songs that describe me most are Highway to Hell and (Savatage's) Hall of the Mountain King. ...Kinda hard to argue with that.

MAAAAAAAAADNESS REEEEEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIGNS! IN THE HALL... OF THE MOUNTAIN KIIIIIING!

I've been thinking about writing really dark anti-war poems.

Most of the poems I write are one extreme or the other. Either they make you stare at me in terror (i.e., the one poem that I really loved about destroying all things bright, eternal, and shining) or they make you wonder what kind of weed I'm smoking (i.e., the poem about my daydream world; that short collection of poetry actually netted me the highest possible score for English in my school, even though I wasn't there for but two months).

If I ever managed to write a song, I'd prefer to be known for having an optimistic outlook on life. Creating something that brightens someone's day and encourages peace among the listeners.

But sometimes, the things I write that sound the coolest are rather disturbing.

Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if--by some cosmic joke--I managed to release an album full of dark, horrific, disgusting, disturbing anti-war songs, then showed up for an interview as bright as the sun in the sky and as peppy as one can be without the aid of powerful illegal substances.

I like making people wonder. :P

Nyaaaaan! A gigantic frickin' roach just jumped up onto my bed! O______o~!!!

I like roaches, actually. I don't squish them (because that's nearly damn impossible); usually, if I've got a sheet of paper on hand, I scoop them up and return them to the Great Outdoors. You know, the roaches are gonna be pwning us in a few years when we've blown ourselves all to hell with nuclear weaponry. Be nice to them while you can; it'll put you in their good mercy!

Yeah. When we destroy ourselves, it's gonna be three things left: Cockroaches, Mick Jagger, and Keith Richards.

It'll be interesting to see where evolution takes us after that.

Mr Lightfoot (one of the admins on Digihitch!) suggests I shorten the letter a bit, don't go TOO far away (in case of trouble), and take it all slow. I like Digihitch; a lot of supportive, kind people on there. Of course, there are a few wackaloons on there (like the guy who's trying to start a pirate crew in the Punk Rock subforum--I shit you not), but overall, they're very kind people. Roffles~

I'm still debating on whether I should bother bringing one of the guitars or not. I've got a harmonica that I could play, but the guitar-case is big. More room for more food, y'know? Maybe tonight, I'll try somehow sewing my hydration backpack together with my plain old backpack. I think I could figure out how to do it decently. My hydration backpack's fairly big--I could stuff some food, a change or two of clothes (if I rolled it up tight), and perhaps a tarp inside, but I'd also like to take my harmonica, notebook, and jewelrymaking supplies (in case I need a few bucks for a hostel).

Wish me luck, everyone, nyan!

There was just a HUGE crack of thunder right outside my window. It shook everything in my room. I shit you not. o_O

It was funny, though. I was absorbed in reading someone's account of a Who concert and was jarred out of it only by that crack of thunder. *snicker*

On a totally random note: I wish I could write songs. I've got a bunch of stuff I'd like to say, but as soon as I grab a pencil and paper, I can't write it down in a coherent manner.

Maybe I'll start an improvisational band? That'd be pretty cool. Add an air of mystery and WTF to the scene. Much of "rock" these days is so scripted and boring and serious. It's all guys who sound like chicks droning on about how much they wish they were dead or how much they want a girlfriend but are afraid of rejection. It's all basically the same song, repeated over and over with different singers and titles.

Someone needs to bring back cheerful--or at least Not Completely Whiny and Angsty--music, dammit! And bring back stuff with great guitar and cooperation between the instruments! Most of what you hear on the radio is overpowered by the droning bore of the lead singer, with overpowering drums. I LOVE drum solos and sounds--shit, I spent several minutes last night rewatching that clip of Keith doing that solo with the fish-drums--but please, folks, don't make that the entire basis of your career: DRUM. DRONE. DRUM. DRONE. Give it a rest!

It used to be you could tell the singers in different bands apart. Roger Daltrey--distinctive voice. Pete Townshend--distinctive voice. Freddie Mercury--distinctive voice. George Harrison--distinctive voice. Janis Joplin--distinctive voice. They all had their own sounds, too.

These days, I couldn't tell you who's who or what.

BRING BACK CREATIVITY DAMMIT!

I bet all the anti-gay guys watch copious amounts of lesbian porn.

Post #80! I've had this damn thing for a little over a week and there's as much as my first four months on Livejournal. Ugh~

Anyway. I might leave tomorrow.

I've written a letter and I'm just revising it now.

Basically, it details my reasons for WHY I'm off. I don't want to be trapped in the miserable life that Dad and Karen so desperately want me to live; I believe it's my mission in life to spread peace and love; I want to explore the world on my own; and I also want a chance to grow in love myself. I don't think I love enough. Gotta fix that, nyan!

It also hints as to where I might've gone. I don't wanna tell them EXACTLY, because I can't have anybody interrupting my explorations. Also includes reassurances that I'll be fine and I'll send them postcards every week or two.

What do you think?

Weird dream last night. o_O It wasn't exactly a BAD dream, but it wasn't one of those joyfully nonsensical ones I usually have, either.

I was out hitchhiking and someone offered to let me house-sit for a week, because they were going out on vacation. I agreed and set about cleaning the house for them. But there was a pounding at the door that really frightened me, so I managed to slip away through a back window. I fled and came upon a CVS where two guys were trying to roof it. They saw I was being chased and helped push me up the ladder. We crouched down behind the big neon letters and pulled up the ladder. We talked for awhile. I had no idea why they were chasing me. One of them whipped out a sabre and offered to protect me. o_O wtfbbq~

But I eventually had to come down, because the guys ran out of food and I was getting hungry. So I made sure the shadowy mysterious figure following me wasn't down there, scuttled down the ladder, and went into the CVS. The shadowy mysterious figure snatched me as soon as I got to the register. D: He dragged me off to a big-ass house--I remember it surprisingly well--and started telling me how there were five prophets who would bring the end of the world, and I was Number Three (Josh's friend Ren was in there, too). He pointed to a Sephiroth chart (I think that's what they're called?) and mentioned that I was the next one up on the right from the bottom of the chart. Wonder what that means? We had a short chat about how the end of the world would come (according to the book of Revelation, which I've read several times--which should be quite disturbing, considering I was six or seven when I gained the obsession with it).

Well, you all know me. I didn't want to bring the end of the world, so I took off again in a random direction. I seriously didn't have anywhere in particular I was going to go. I ended up at the beach, where the CVS Guys were waiting in a wooden ship. They brought me on board and sailed away--*breaks into song* "Where the wind blows sweet~"--from the impending doom that I was supposed to help bring.So yah. I'm apparently something on that chart and instrumental in bringing GOD'S FURY upon the world or something. XP

Scribbling down a cute little story about (yup!) another vampire wanderer and his companions.

So far, the guy in the story (who alternately goes by Morpheus, Sandman, Sandy, and Keith) has crashed at a hippie church, which I'm really enjoying writing about. Instead of pews, there's beanbag chairs; there are pictures of hippie-Jesus and hippie-Mary on the walls; there are psychedelic paintings on the ceiling; and there's two hippie nuns running it (Maybell and Liv). There's another girl who hangs around there. She had a decent homelife but just decided to hang out at Our Lady of Peace because she liked Maybell and Liv more than her own real parents.

Sandy's a bit weirded out by the church--"Hippie Catholics? What the hell?"--and eventually ends up with Sophie (the younger girl) following him around. She doesn't talk, but it's by choice. She communicates quite well anyway.

Shit, I might just get rid of the whole "another hitchhiking vampire" angle and write about Our Lady of Peace Church and the adventures they have. Maybell and Liv are fun, and so is Sophie. Sandy's fun, but I'd like to try my hand at leaving someone in one place for awhile nyan!

On a totally random note: Pete Townshend is--what, 60? 61?--and he still moves around about a hundred times better than I--at 18--can. I think the only people as fit as Pete are Roger and my own Grandma Allie (she's 73, but I'm confident that she's going to live to be 200 years old, she's just THAT healthy--she's sick even less than I am, she takes daily three-mile walks, maintains a mostly-vegetarian diet, all that kind of stuff).

Things You Probably Shouldn't Do While Driving:

Get a driving song (i.e. "Ramblin' Man", "Going Mobile", "Highway to Hell") stuck in your head.

Tear ass through a 25-mph neighborhood at 60mph making very sharp right turns and very wide left turns.

Stare at the road in front of the car or up at the clouds while you're on a busy high-speed street.

Nearly rear-end two street-sweepers.

Deliberately hit at stoplight at 45mph and then SLAM on the brakes just to shut your driving instructor the fuck up.

Go 65mph on a 35mph road.

In front of a cop.

It really sucks when you've got a zit right under your nostril and you keep sneezing.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qf62qM662oo&search=Keith%20Moon

One day, I'm going to find a time machine, take it back in time, and marry Keith Moon. O__o Or at least try to see him at a concert, because that would totally rule. *squee~* I'm still totally Not Creepy. XP Stfu, hos.

I don't actually plan on ever getting married to anybody. I just don't like the idea of being tied down by anyone. Remember that little thing I mentioned about forming close relationships? I'd LIKE to, but I've got a deep paranoia of doing so. But I wouldn't mind being really close friends with a troublemaker like Keith. Or Abbie. Someone who's got energy, a grand sense of humor, and a drive to do something great.

I suppose that was the problem with the only two boyfriends I've ever had. They couldn't keep up with me, because I move on like a monkey on crack. Sean was apathetic and lethargic. I honestly don't remember what I liked about him. o_O And Eric was an all-around whiner who was absolutely dependent on me. I hate it when people get clingy and obsessive. If I'm going to form a close relationship with someone, it'd better be because they enjoy being around me and WANT to hang around me, rather than just wanting to be around somebody-anybody-Bueller just for the sake of being with someone. I enjoy hanging around most people, unless they're the whiny apathetic sit-on-their-ass type. Who I actively try to convert into somebody with more energy than a frickin' banana slug.

Perhaps my standards are too high. I don't know. If I ever hook up with anybody, I want them to be a best friend rather than a boyfriend/girlfriend/itfriend. Best friends can be honest, tease, and mock one another without fear of a split. It doesn't appear as though boyfriends/girlfriends/itfriends can be together without applying some kinds of lies to a relationship, and that's simply not what I wanna do.

And I'm not into that whispered-sweet-nothings, expensive-candlelit-dinners, goofy-ass-pet-name kind of thing, anyway. Fuck romantic comedy movies, fuck candlelit dinners (I'd be more occupied with trying to put the candle out with a wave of air from my hand anyway), fuck sweet nothings. A bit of tenderness and fluffiness can be good, yeah. But that's not really what I like doing ALL THE TIME. I like watching retarded horror movies, making fun of fluffy clingy couples at the mall, having semi-intellectual conversations about spirituality, planning the Motherfucking Revolution, things like that.

A relationship based on compromises, honesty, and friendship rather than one-wayness, lies, and codependency--that's what I'd like. *nods*

But sometimes I suspect my standards are way too high.

Ah well. *shrug*