http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tPYThcNcDMU&search=Right%20Now This is one of the things that makes me tear up. I'm really not sure why.

Sad things don't make me cry. Violence doesn't make me cry. It makes me all the more committed to Leiko's Life Mission.

Weird things make me cry, and it's hard to make me cry. The end of the Imagine: John Lennon video makes me cry. The "Coda" part of Woodstock makes me cry uncontrollably. Neither of these things depresses me. Well, to some degree--I mean, they're symbols that my heroes are dead, and they're not coming back. Signs of an age that I never belonged to, but now feel I should. But they don't really make me sad for the next week or anything. It's odd and involuntary; when the crowd in the ending credits of Woodstock goes silent, my eyes just blur up and out come the tears, and it's like that until I can stumble shakily to the DVD player and take it out. Through the dedications to those who have since died, to the listing of the things that the counterculture valued most, to the "Woodstock epitaph"... I just sniffle and cry the whole way through.

I didn't cry when my grandma Silsi died, and I was too freaked out to cry when my dog pretty much died right in front of me. I was upset, yeah, but I didn't cry. More like, I went within myself and stayed numb for a little while.

Perhaps it's because I feel such a strong connection to my heroes that I don't even feel with my own family. Although I never knew them, and will probably never know the heroes who are still alive (which aren't many--Pete Townshend, Roger Daltrey, Ozzy Osbourne, Yoko Ono, Ringo Starr, Paul McCartney, and Michael Palin), it's like there's a deep, cosmic connection that never goes away. They're not here bodily anymore, but they haven't gone away at all. It's like they're still hanging around, peering over shoulders and keeping an eye on their loved ones and inspiring people still.

Is this what love is supposed to be like? If it is, I'm in love with an age and a set of revolutionary ideas, rather than a handful of specific people. But I do love the people who came from that age--Keith Moon and John Entwistle, John Lennon and George Harrison, Janis Joplin and Jim Morrison, Syd Barrett and Jimi Hendrix...

Kind of like "Pictures of Lily", except I'm a Lilly, and I don't... erm... do that too often, and not with those people in mind. XP