Lately I'm obsessed with the Woodstock version of "Heaven and Hell." Great song, that, but it gives me the warmest of fuzzies coming from Woodstock. For some very odd reason.

I'm bored. At least I'm not hungry; I made little pizzas using hot dog buns, shredded cheese, and some pizza sauce I found in the back of the cabinet. Hooray improvisation!

Karen's coming back this weekend. D: Maybe I should go back to Mum's. Or perhaps I should keep in my room or wander around outside for the entire day and only crawl out to eat at dark. Roach-girl Leiko~ O_o Karen used to be really cool, but with all of this shit where she's trying to force me to be like her... my patience with her is wearing really, really thin. Keep in mind, folks, I'm really patient. I take almost everything in stride and let it go.

But all of this shit where she drags me along to work to force me to do dental work? Nuh-uh. Ain't gonna happen.

When she tries to get me to give up my dreams and become a greed-powered gossip machine? Ain't gonna happen.

I admit, I'm not the sanest person in the world. I'm not the most normal girl on the block. Okay, I freely admit it. I don't want to change myself. I like myself, overall. I feel very free when I act the way I like to act. Perhaps it cuts me off from the rest of normal society, and that's a little bit sad because I get lonely, but I would rather be alone than live my life pretending to be someone I'm not and wasting away in misery because I settled!

I made a promise several years ago--that I wouldn't settle. My friend Andy sparked it. He said I was too good to settle for just anything. And after these seven years of knowing him, I think he's right. I shan't settle for whatever comes along and drops in front of me. I'll spend my life pursuing what I think is right and what I think is the best--even if it leaves me alone in the world.

So Karen doesn't approve of my drive to be a wandering-hippie-spiritual-seeker-charity-worker-type-person. Big deal. I don't need approval. That's what makes me happy.

I've no interest in her kind of life.

Wandering makes me happy.

Peace makes me happy.

Matters of the spirit make me happy.

Charity makes me happy.

Money makes me absolutely miserable.

Being in one place makes me miserable.

Gossip and whispering makes me nearly psycho.

Matters of mammon depress me.

I wonder what it would take for the rest of my family to realize--there's so much more to life than earning money.