I'm tired, but I can't go to sleep.

My head feels crowded, but it's amazingly light and clear.

I'm sure of what I want in life, but I'm not really all that sure.

I dunno what my deal is.

What I want out of life is simple: I don't want money, I don't want a big car, a big house, lots of televisions, children, or even a husband. All I want is to spread a bit of peace and goodwill on to my neighbors in this world. And I want to travel. (Those little side-daydreams of meeting Pete Townshend, Roger Daltrey, and Mick Jagger will most likely have to remain daydreams. Nice daydreams, but daydreams nonetheless.)

But that's all I want. I don't want to bother with money, I don't want to bother with having a house or a job. I could live in a shack on a mountaintop for all I care. In fact, I might. It'd be all the better for me--to clear my mind, to get away from people. I love all people, but people don't seem to like me very much at all. Maybe I'll be a nun. Or work at a Buddhist retreat. Or move overseas and hang out in India or something like that.

I'd like to live like Jesus did, really. Traveling around dispensing wisdom and words of love to all people, depending on what God gives me to survive. That's the kind of stuff Jesus talked about. It's written in red in Dad's old dusty Bible. I'm sure I'd get more hurlers than helpers in this quest, though.

I'm a dreamer. But I don't want to end up like all the other dreams--cynical, bitter, angry, jaded. I want to remain a dreamer. I want to carry on connecting with God through connecting with other people. I don't want to wake up when I'm 30 and realize that I've got a two-story house in WASP-topia with 1.8 kids, two dogs, a gas-guzzling SUV, and debt up to my eyeballs. I don't want any of that to come into my life. All I'd like is the road, a tent, my yarn and popsicle sticks to make my good-luck charms, and a message to pass on to people. I wanna get back to a life where money doesn't matter; I'd like to look at people with kindness and trust rather than suspicion and paranoia (as is so commonplace these days!)

And that's all I want from my life. I don't ask anything more--though perhaps a true friend or two wouldn't be amiss.