I'm obsessed with the song Endless Wire lately. *pets album* I love it. Far as I'm concerned, Pete's the mad old man from the song. He's the magic music man. :3

In other news: I'm so tired lately. I'm so bored. I'm basically just killing time until I get on the bus up to Ohio, which is still a couple of weeks away. I wanna go! I wanna see new things and get my energy back! But being here, where I am, is so boring. I don't have anybody my age or sensibilities to talk to. I don't have my books so I can read. There's absolutely nothing on TV at any time, and I'm quickly growing bored with the Internet too.

So now I'm just waiting for Ohio. I'm waiting for the bus. I'm just waiting to get out of here! I wanna go!

But it's still a few weeks, so I've buried myself in music and in sleep. I crash for about ten hours a day during the sunlight hours and sleep the day away, because there's simply nothing to do around here. Maybe I'll go hang out at the gas station for a few hours later today, or take a few-hour walk up the other end of the road.

At any rate, I'll have to concoct some excuse to get out of the house. As mean as it sounds, I'm sick of spending time with my stepfather and all of his relations. I've never liked his kids, and now his mother is here, too, and she bugs me for some inexplicable reason.

I'm so bored.

I hope Nasalam answers soon; I want to go visit their commune. Or maybe I'll go hang out with the Catholic Workers (...ignoring for a second that I'm not a Catholic). That's the kind of stuff I want to do! I want to work closely with the Earth, I don't want to concern myself with money, and I want to earn what I deserve from my brothers and sisters of the Earth. But nobody wants me to pursue this dream. It depresses me, and I feel more lonely than ever when people snicker condescendingly at me.

I think that's why I kill so much time sleeping and listening to my music and learning lots of useless music trivia. It's because I want a fantasy life, since I'm so often denied the friendship I want in real life (though not for a lack of trying). So my dreams become my real life. I develop a strange attachment to the people who appear in my dreams and I concern myself with the musicians I'm so fond of because it distracts me.

It's sometimes a sad realization.

But I can press on and keep on dreaming, and the fantasies are what keep me happy and sane. So thank God for Nate, Seth, Persephone, and the other figments of my imagination!