I'm on a Steppenwolf kick lately. I do not know why.

But a few nights ago, I had a dream that I got to go to a CCR concert that had Steppenwolf opening. That was pretty cool. I had front-row seats and would dance around instead of sitting the hell down and listening. John Fogerty would tease me, but threw a flower to me because he thought I was funny for how badly I danced. Which is probably what would happen if I danced at concerts, except for partaking in moshpits and suchlike. I have eight unseen left legs, I swear.

I've always wished I could dance. I wanted to take ballet and jazz and that when I was a little kid and would always run straight home with the forms that they'd pass out in elementary school. "Mooooom! Mooooom! Can I take ballet?" She'd always say no. So I never got to do ballet. Or karate. I was left to be on my own in the afternoons, to make up my own games and listen to my own kind of music.

So after awhile, nobody wanted to be friends with me, because I was getting rather "strange." I wasn't acting like a ten-year-old girl "should" act--I wasn't into boys, I wasn't into makeup, I wasn't into shopping and sleepovers. I was into adventures and daydreams and playing outside! Even the boys thought I was weird, so they left me alone.

I can't help but think that if I'd taken ballet, I would've had a few more friends as a kid and maybe I wouldn't be so screwy and lonely now. But maybe not.

In a way, I'm glad I'm screwy. It opens up a whole new world to enjoy when you're a few screws short of a picnic. You're not bound by expectations and "what should be." You're only bound by your crazy imagination, your own daydreams. Basically, you're free.

But what is freedom without friends to enjoy it with you, I wonder?

Man, I just flow from one tangent to another, don't I?